Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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