I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
