you're like a bully in the Christmas story
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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