i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
