Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
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Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
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There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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