how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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