just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Randomize
