I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
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