Pregnant stripper...not hot.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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