You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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