I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
