Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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