wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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