don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
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EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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