Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
