Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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