dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
