Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
