so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
