What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
