How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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