So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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