he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Randomize
