Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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