Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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