I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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