my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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