did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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