Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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