Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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