windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
