By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
