You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
