What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
and you fell through a lawn chair
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
