Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
