He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
