Don't you send me to vm
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
