Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
