ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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