need another drink. this is the easiest way
you guys were way drunker than both of me
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize