If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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