There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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