I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
