Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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