he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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