He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
