i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
She made me pour olive oil on her.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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