thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
it was like his penis was on wheels.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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