He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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