ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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