From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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