I'm drive I can fine osifer
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
