the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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