Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
