seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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