My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
