If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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