new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
