I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
