Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
