Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize