Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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