Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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