We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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