I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
