She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
