So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
