Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
