We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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