brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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